Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start making changes to create tech boundaries?

Start with yourself— Be the example. Choose one or two little changes you want to make (like a phone curfew or places and times in your day to put your phone away), then eventually build more boundaries. Share your goals with your family and tell them how you feel as you’ve made these changes.

I also recommend the book, “Creating A Tech-Healthy Family” by Andrea Davis. It has 10 short lessons/ discussions to work through as a family to create more tech boundaries.

What do we teach our kids about WHY we are choosing not to give them a smartphone?

When a child asks for a cellphone, instead of simply saying, “No,” consider saying, “Not yet.” We’ve found it helpful to really listen to their concerns/ reasons for wanting one, trying to stay calm and curious. Validating a child’s feelings helps them to feel heard and understood. Then we try to understand what they might need a device for. Discuss the great responsibility of smartphone use, and together, evaluate how responsible they are in other areas of life (like completing homework or doing household chores). We also found it helpful to teach them about their brain development and the possible risks and effects of devices such as pornography, online predators, anxiety and depression. Listen & teach; you’ll know when the timing is right.

We’re the only ones we know who are trying to delay giving our children smartphones. What can we do not to feel so alone?

It’s so hard feeling alone For you AND your child! I wish I could say there’s a way to avoid it, but I’ve come to see that it’s part of walking a path less travelled. I have found it helpful to ask friends and other parents about screen time in their homes. I’ve chatted about it with teachers and administrators and at school council meetings. When I ask others about screen time, it gives me an opportunity to share what I’ve been learning too. The more conversations we have, the more we create awareness in our circles of influence. And remember, there ARE other families out there doing the same thing. You are not alone! (Shoot me an email on the days it feels too hard).

Start with yourself— Be the example. Choose one or two little changes you want to make (like a phone curfew or places and times in your day to put your phone away), then eventually build more boundaries. Share your goals with your family and tell them how you feel as you’ve made these changes.
I also recommend the book, “Creating A Tech-Healthy Family” by Andrea Davis. It has 10 short lessons/ discussions to work through as a family to create more tech boundaries.
When a child asks for a cellphone, instead of simply saying, “No,” consider saying, “Not yet.” We’ve found it helpful to really listen to their concerns/ reasons for wanting one, trying to stay calm and curious. Validating a child’s feelings helps them to feel heard and understood. Then we try to understand what they might need a device for. Discuss the great responsibility of smartphone use, and together, evaluate how responsible they are in other areas of life (like completing homework or doing household chores). We also found it helpful to teach them about their brain development and the possible risks and effects of devices such as pornography, online predators, anxiety and depression. Listen & teach; you’ll know when the timing is right.
It’s so hard feeling alone For you AND your child! I wish I could say there’s a way to avoid it, but I’ve come to see that it’s part of walking a path less travelled. I have found it helpful to ask friends and other parents about screen time in their homes. I’ve chatted about it with teachers and administrators and at school council meetings. When I ask others about screen time, it gives me an opportunity to share what I’ve been learning too. The more conversations we have, the more we create awareness in our circles of influence. And remember, there ARE other families out there doing the same thing. You are not alone! (Shoot me an email on the days it feels too hard).